Again, after 3 years my heart came to a point of falling in love again. But this time it’s much wiser. Though I give my all on this one, I won’t risk everything to feel pain and be hurt again in the end. These few months I have been my best and most people who are closest to me notice what happened. I’ve never been in love like this for a while. Maybe to extent the thought that he doesn’t feel the same the way I do. It’s awkward to think that he does some things that would actually let me fall for him. I don’t know if he does the same thing to everyone. All I know is that.
I don’t want it to grow in my heart and expect anything less than being a friend. In that way I could prevent my heart from hurting too much. What happens last month was just a dream. A nightmare that I wish that never happened. It keeps on coming back on my mind and thinking that it was just a game which actually ended that same day. I know he has someone in his heart now and I’m happy for that. But watching him afar seems to hurt me much that the one he loves, is also in love with somebody else. I know how it hurts him because I feel the same way before and now with him. I don’t have the guts to tell him what’s inside my heart because I don’t want to get hurt.
I tried to avoid him but everything I do seem to get straight to him which that I don’t like. What happen 3 years ago will not happen now. I will not run after him like what I did to someone in my past. I would rather look at myself hurting and feel than to see my pride and respect for myself loose in the end. For now I want to be selfish and look on the things that may be the best for me. I know that someday when I’ll find the one for me I’ll remember you and laugh out these times that I cried for you.
I wish you to be happy that’s why I keep on avoiding you these days. I don’t want to fall for you completely. As long as I can manage to forget you, I will. I hope that you will not let me fall, coz I know that there’s someone else in your hear and I’m not the girl for you. Someday I’ll accept the truth; I know I can endure this pain. I can’t share this to anyone coz no one could understand my pain now. Only I could explain.
“Please don’t let me fall”
Stop making actions that would eventually makes my heart beat stupidly. Don’t make any action that serves as my expectations from you goes higher. Please keep on avoiding me like what I am doing with you now. I don’t want to get hurt and goes back to healing my heart coz it takes time. Please don’t let me fall.
to Mr. Unpredictable
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